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Republican vice presidential nominee Sarah Palin is in town. John McCain took her over to the U.N. to introduce her to all the world leaders. It looked like Take Your Daughter to Work Day.”
David Letterman (CBS)
“President Bush met with John McCain and Barack Obama. John McCain showed up without running mate Sarah Palin, which is a shame because she actually has a lot of experience with financial matters. You know, she lives right next to a bank.”
Jimmy Kimmel (ABC)
“John McCain wants to suspend his debate with Barack Obama until the economic crisis is over. And Sarah Palin wants to suspend her debate with Joe Biden until she can find Europe on a map.”
Jay Leno (NBC)
“And all this week, the McCain campaign is trying to prevent Sarah Palin from talking to reporters covering the news, you know? They said, ‘you can take her picture, but you can’t ask her any questions.’ What is she running for, vice president or ‘America’s Next Top Model’?”
Jay Leno (NBC)
“Sarah Palin, you know, was at the U.N. yesterday, and she was a big hit. She’s over there meeting all of the world leaders. She’s still learning who the world leaders are. Right now, she thinks that Warren Buffett is the head of Margaritaville.”
David Letterman (CBS)
“John McCain and Sarah Palin attended a campaign rally in Vienna, Ohio, today. They were in Vienna. Apparently, they went to Vienna so Sarah Palin could get some foreign policy experience.”
Jay Leno (NBC)
“Sarah Palin’s been spending the last couple of days being briefed by advisers on what she needs to know to be John McCain’s vice president. That’s true. Yeah, apparently, the first thing they taught her was CPR.”
Conan O’Brien (NBC)
“Because of Sarah Palin, people are now asking the question: Is she ready to be president? If, God forbid, something happens to John McCain, is Sarah Palin ready to be president? I don’t think we need to worry about that, because Bush has lowered the bar so tremendously.”
David Letterman (CBS)
“I kind of like that Sarah Palin. You know, she reminds me, she looks like the flight attendant who won’t give you a second can of Pepsi. No, you’ve had enough. We’re landing. She looks like the waitress at the coffee shop who draws a little smiley face on your check – Have a nice day!.”
David Letterman (CBS)
“She’s old enough. She’s a U.S. citizen.”
John Harris, Alaska’s Republican speaker of the house, responding to questions about Palin’s qualifications for vice president
“It’s great to see another part of the country.”
Sarah Palin (herself), campaigning in Pennsylvania
“Absolutely. Yup, yup.”
Sarah Palin when asked by People magazine if she was ready to be a heartbeat away from the presidency.
[If I missed some other funny ones from Leno/Letterman, please leave me a note.]