Guy Down The Street

So a certain general has been caught with his pants down. Again. (Make yourself aware that the adverb Again in this case does not imply that the said general has been caught with his pants down before. Rather the single word sentence merely seeks to emphasize that generals and other people in powerful positions have been caught with their pants down before. Also, this clarification paragraph should not be interpreted to mean that the said general never had his pants down before. In fact, as has come to light, the said general is married.)

There are many indications that the said general was not entirely interested in making a big deal out of his biography. But due to some very savory details surrounding his biography, the deal about his biography grew and grew, until it all exploded in an abundant shower much to the delight of media, not unlike a white Christmas, enveloping most of our great nation.

Conspiracy theorists thrive on such incidences where weakness of other human beings (or strength, if we were to look at it from a different perspective) lead them to be sucked into the hollowness of a situation that can be considered spilling with iniquity and excitement.

But rather than playing a cheap double entendre, this situation allows us to explore the long-standing question – Is the New World different from the Old World? The answer again lies in the affirmative. In good old France, the good general would have already received offers to be the next presidential candidate, a movie hero (as opposed to just a real hero), and a standing invitation to those admirable parties thrown by the Italian. The good biographer would have already dropped her guard and accepted an offer to be in the next month’s issue of the ever dependable journalism outputs and the French men and women would have been engaged in a bitter debate around whether or not there is a certain je ne se qua about her, of if the general is guilty of poor standards. (I say his standards are fine.) In lowlands of Amsterdam and Hamburg, this would be a perfect occasion to celebrate the free spirit of those cities, and in Bavaria, a reason to get another beer, bitte, so we can discuss it a bit more. And in Italy, the couples in their tristesse moments would argue whether this supposed act really did happen or if it is merely a lie conjured up by the media to dull the pain caused by that 4-0 loss.

But only a complete socialist or a commie could miss the financial perspective on the development and timing of this scandal. Much like the months between the Julius and Augustus, the months between the presidential election and the inauguration are typically a silly season. Especially, after the media has lost all its remaining aces after repeated prevarications and projections of a close election that finishes at 323-206. So, call those publishing houses money crazy, attention craving, immoral bastards, but what are they supposed to do? They have mortgages to pay, don’t they?